Bubble Gum

Clerk and Customer at candy store
Customer: Can I eat a piece of bubble gum now if I buy it anyway
Clerk: No
Customer: Oh
Clerk: Ya
Customer: Umm, mwall ish skinjda chew late
Clerk: You didn't
Customer: Naw, shwat jew jew shean
Clerk: Oh no, you had more than one didn't you?
Customer: MOW
Clerk: Huh?
Customer: MOW
Clerk: Get that gum out of your mouth.
Customer: EYY AAANNNNDDDD
Clerk: Alright, I am calling nine one one
Customer: ELLLLLM EEEEEE ELLLLLLMM MEEEEEE
Clerk: Your in big trouble.
Customer: EYYY AAANNNDD EEEDDDD OUUUUUU
Clerk: Just wait here.
Customer: EEAR WENDY OLLRRR, EEIMM EEEAVINNN
Clerk: Hey, stop, hey don't run, i called the cops already
Customer: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNN

Bad Poetry

This is peculiar
That's my destination
Lebanon, Charles de gaulle
California Baseball
I'd run right into hell and back
If it can get me there intact
Well if lady luck gets on my side
We're gonna rock this town alive
The car smashed so hard
I turned into a retard
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance
Were gonna put you in a trance
Dont worry be happy
This poem is really sappy
Id drive a million miles
Even if you bring some files
Party over here
Bring the beer
I hate you
I hate pooh
I hate sue
I hate you
Bob dylan rhymes with nob fillin'

Direct Orders

You have been given a direct order to rock the freak out. Rock out like you found out your stalker is stalking someone else, like you just won the lottery the day before your house forclosed, like they do in the movies.Rock out like you just got asked out by the girl you have been crushing on for years, like you know how to rock out, like all people do is rock out. Rock out like you were lost in the mountains for three days and just got found, like they brought brownies with them, like you just turned eighteen. Rock out like Mr Nelson does when he is alone in his room with the door locked, like you rock out when you are alone in your room and the door is locked, like you are a rock star. Rock out like the world is gonna end unless you rock out. Rock out until everyone around you rocks out with you.

ROCK OUT!

Shake The Dust

This is for the ones living paycheck to paycheck

For the annoying friend

For the single mom that doesn't spend any time with her kids because she is always at work

This is for her kids

Shhh

This is for the one that got caught on video falling and is now on youtube with ten million views

This is for the born rich

and for the handicapped

Shhh

This is for the depressed

for the suicidal

and for his best friend

This is for the kid who's parents divorced and neither parent wanted custody.

Shhh Shhh Shake the Dust

So grab this world by its clothespins and shake it out again and again and jump on top and take it for a spin and when you hop off shake it again for this is yours.